Heybullblog Campursari: 32 reasons Tim Tebow won't get an NFL QB job in 2013

Friday, December 21, 2012

32 reasons Tim Tebow won't get an NFL QB job in 2013

Now that it's become evident that Tim Tebow's tenure with the New York Jets won't likely last beyond the 2012 season, we started thinking about where he could possibly end up in 2013.

We came up with several longshot possibilities on Wednesday, but depending on how important it is for him to continue playing quarterback and getting an opportunity to start, it's possible that most NFL teams just won't want to take the chance on bringing the scrutiny of theTebow experience into their locker room.

As positive of a guy as Tebow is, each team is likely to have at least one reason why they'd turn down the chance to sign or trade for him. Here they all are.

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New York Giants: They've seen the circus up close and personal -- president John Mara even ridiculed the Jets for it -- and there's no way they'd bring it to East Rutherford.

Washington Redskins: Aside from RGIII's action-figure collection, there can only be one superhero in that locker room.

Dallas Cowboys: If Jerry Jones gives Tebow a job, it'll be as Dez Bryant's escort.

Philadelphia Eagles: They've already tried a left-handed quarterback who can't stay in the pocket.

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Green Bay Packers: Aaron Rodgers would welcome the distraction of Tebow about as well as another visit from a "60 Minutes" production crew.

Chicago Bears: "Hi, Mr. Cutler, I'm Tim Tebow." "Doooonnnnnnnn'tttt Carrrrrrrrrrrre"

Minnesota Vikings: They already have one quarterback from a Florida college whose main job consists of handing the ball off to Adrian Peterson.

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Detroit Lions: The Lions have the best receiver in football in Calvin Johnson. You don't fill up a Ferrari with 87 gas, even for short trips to the store.

Atlanta Falcons: They're in the Bible belt, but any backup quarterback here in 2013 had better be able to get the ball to their weapons – Tony Gonzalez (if he doesn't retire), Roddy White and Julio Jones. And Tebow can't.

New Orleans Saints: It would be amazing to anoint "Saint Tebow," but even Sean Payton couldn't devise an offense that would work for him.

Tampa Bay Buccaneers: "Excuse me, Coach Schiano, but do you think diving at a guy's knees on the last play of the game is the Christian thing to do?"

Carolina Panthers: Fragile Cam Newton can't deal with losing, how do you think he'd do as the second-most popular QB in camp?

San Francisco 49ers: Colin Kaepernick = Tim Tebow with an accurate arm.

Seattle Seahawks: Pete Carroll went out of his way to call Tebow "a distraction" for the Jets this season.

St. Louis Rams: If offensive coordinator Brian Schottenheimer (who held the same role with the Jets prior to this season) is a fan of schadenfreude, he probably enjoyed the Tebow experiment in New York. That doesn't mean he wants to be designing plays for the guy.

Arizona Cardinals: The Cardinals badly need a starting quarterback and will likely target a veteran like Alex Smith or a potential franchise player through the draft. Neither needs the carnival of the world's most famous backup.

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New England Patriots: Tom Brady doesn't like leaving the field with his team up 30 in the fourth quarter. He's going to want to jog off so Tebow can run a draw play every few series?

New York Jets: Been there. done that.

Miami Dolphins: The Dolphins primarily run a West Coast offense. Tim Tebow is not exactly the best fit for a West Coast offense.

Buffalo Bills: Buffalo already has Brad Smith in the fold for the types of unconventional Wildcat playcalling that Tebow could be useful for.

Baltimore Ravens: Because Tim Tebow is also not an elite quarterback.

Cincinnati Bengals: While preparing for the Jets in preseason, the Bengals used rookie receiver Mohammed Sanu to mimic Tebow. Sanu told reporters afterward he could throw better than the former Heisman winner. "I've seen him throw," Sanu said. The receiver might be right. His 73 yards passing on the year are nearly twice as many as Tebow has.

Pittsburgh Steelers: And get rid of 75-year-old Charlie Batch to make room? Nonsense.

Cleveland Browns: The Browns have been trying to find a good passer since Bernie Kosar left. They'll keep looking.

Houston Texans: The only stadium Tebow will be headlining in Houston is likely to be Joel Osteen's Lakewood Church, which now operates from the former COMPAQ Center, the home of the Rockets until 2003.

Indianapolis Colts: Indy isn't going to mess with its amazing Luck for years to come.

Tennessee Titans: With former All-Pro guard Mike Munchak at the helm, the Titans would be the perfect stop for Tebow if he wanted the coach to teach him how to be a full-time blocker.

Jacksonville Jaguars: The Jaguars were on the hometown hero's short list last season but apparently owner Shad Khan was the only one in the front office sold on bringing Tebow in. As Jerry Jones and Dan Snyder have often proved, it's always a good idea to let the owner make football decisions.

Denver Broncos: Dude, she had fun with you but dumped you for like, a way, older college guy with his own Jeep Wrangler. Her parents thought you were such a nice boy though.

San Diego Chargers: A.J. Smith is likely gone as the Chargers GM after the season. If you're his replacement, why would you want to make this kind of a splash in your first month or two on the job?

Oakland Raiders: It would be hard to focus on playing quarterback when you've got an entire "nation" of miscreants to try and counsel before every home game.

Kansas City Chiefs: Brady Quinn: "Come on???? This guy again???"

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